8th DECEMBER, 2012 DIARY

I really dont know , what to say and what not to . Right now am in that #FIGHT mode , in which i just tend to feel , i shall just go away from everyone, and just come back real damn strong and hard . As, this feeling rose, i turned on my favorite song #HookahBar . I know it does not go with the feelings , but its one of those songs, which are extremely fast , yet having a touch of ROCK . I am just concentrating on the song , to get off this awkward feeling . 

11th NOVEMBER , 2012 DIARY

I mean , i dont really know whats wrong with my mood and what is all this anxiety about. I still feel down. Well anyhow thanks after getting off a certain show back has helped me lift the mood again . Anyhow i just wanna get over this awkward feel.Its that sometimes, just like now i feel kind of speechless. This is one of the most "Unclear" daily diary i have ever written. Yes i m confused. 

10th NOVEMBER , 2012 DIARY

And yes, I know this, after almost a month has happened to me again, that i feel the same skip in the beat, that unusual breathing pattern. Its that i just thought for a second i was over, but then when you came back i realized  NOH ! we are still One. And now after what happened today i feel shattered again. Why is it so .? I still feel that exact feeling is inexplicable. 

30th OCTOBER , 2012 DIARY

It has been a roller coaster ride , with my emotions going haywire. Well, can say the mood was inclined towards sadness from the morning, nightmares played a vital role in causing this inclination towards extravagant anxiety. There came some bright moments too when i was with my budds, but the intensely depressive thoughts over powered and over shadowed these joyous moments. I talked to you , and i don't know what to say and what not to. I don't know how i feel and what's happening,  I am clueless and utterly shocked what to and what not to say. As the night has progressed , the feelings of lonliness and irritation have only increased. 

29th OCTOBER , 2012 DIARY

It was a sleepy and depressing day . I remained distressed the whole day, anxiety and depression took over and ruined the day. Woke up around 2 and still felt dizzy and sleepy. Having a mildly sore throat. The feelings of lonliness are getting all over me again. I talked to "you" today after a long time. I was Clueless, Speechless and Numb. I felt as if i wanted to say alot , but either i wont find the words or if i do find them, you wont be able to understand them. I cried again today , which was quite a normal thing few weeks back. Theres something in side me which is constantly tinkering with my moods, i dont feel like speaking or talking. Its simply that i m Bamboozled as it was one of the most depressive and Puzzling day .

28th OCTOBER , 2012 DIARY

Well it was not a very normal day . Since , i woke up i had a feeling of distress and anxiety , which i bore in my heart all day long. I skipped a visit to my grandmas place , just due to these feelings and a minor headache. Though i still went to my uncles place in the evening, and watching my sweety little cousin, i just forgot all such feelings and just got lost in her cute ness MASHALLAH . She is simply adorable. I talked to someone , i wish could name that someone here, but in the end of the chat i only felt clueless.